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Jun 14, 2009

TIME GONE BY


squared circles - ClocksImage by Leo Reynolds via Flickr

When you look at this Mosaic for Monday I want you to think of the time passing by and how you really want to see your life progressing then head over to see Mary @ Little Red House to see her beautiful daisy mosaic. Join Susan @ Between Naps on the Porch for Metamorphosis Monday and while your are there follow the link to vote for her blog at the 2009 Blog Luxe Awards for Best Eye Candy Blog.

You know in ten years when you look back at pictures of yourself taken this year you will say to yourself "you know what I looked pretty good". You may beat yourself up now over the picture but it will be something of a pleasure to see the younger face and body someday.

I spent the last couple of hours going through photo albums and it has actually made me pretty somber.
I looked at pictures of my kids when they were so young and innocent, now grown men. I remembered the days most of them were taken. The mood, the event, the life. There have been many good times and some bad times too. You look at the face of your child then so cute, so loving and you wonder if it is even the same person who was a teenager in your face or that one you wanted to strangle with your bare hands.

I saw pictures of my BB guy and myself many pounds lighter with no gray hair. The many things that were to come didn't show on our faces yet. Yet we survived them so far. Together for 34 years, married for 27 years.

I saw pictures of our house before it was repainted and renovated. We went from dark brown to "Greige". No longer a double carport but a double garage. The garden newly planted not yet overgrown. Trees not yet overpowering flower beds, large rocks visible in the garden. Previous furniture now gone, new kitchen, no more carpet but hardwood floors, a river stone fireplace replacing the tired white fake brick with black grout.

If I had any hormones left I would blame this feeling on a surge of them but that isn't it. What is it then? I feel melancholy. I feel I have wasted precious time. I feel it is time to make some changes in my life, my house and my garden. A metamorphosis perhaps. Either that or I have to put the damn albums away where I can't easily reach them.
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28 comments:

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Love your blog name and I sure have a few in my family....I enjoyed reading your blog tonight....Had some time to do some blog hopping...always enjoy finding new blogs!
Hope you will visit me. This month I am posting on our Disney trip.

grey like snuffie said...

hmmm, just celebrated a birthday and I'm feeling like the last year just RACED by...I would like to slow down and do a bit of reflecting...allow my thoughts to ponder some more. Fun Mosaic idea.

Mrs. Petrie said...

It really is sobering to look at old pictures. My kiddo is still little, but many days I feel like she was just born! Thanks for signing up for my giveaway. :)

Cindy said...

Very thought provoking and true! Oh, it makes me a bit melancholy too. Cindy

Housewife Savant said...

This is brilliant, well said, and funny.

You grab us, and then you Crack. Us. Up.

Lovely post!

Dishesdone said...

What a fantastic mosaic, great idea! Excellent post, enjoyed it! You can have some of my hormones, my family thinks I have way too many lately :)

Love the title of your blog, LOL!

elk said...

time is a ticking ~especially in you group~nice!

Cathy said...

What a wonderful post...so creative!!! I love the mosaic...the clock faces are amazing!!!

Happy MM!!!
XOXO
Cathy

Carol said...

Really enjoyed the post! Your clock mosaic is a very creative idea!

Mary said...

Oh Lori, I know exactly how you feel. Some days I can't seem to get anything done because I bounce from task to task, worried that there is just not enough time... and then sometimes I just give up and sit... is it a product of age, this realization that we have wasted so much time?

A very thought-provoking Mosaic Monday -- thanks for sharing. :)

Lola said...

Lovely melancholy post and beautiful imagery. I want to apologise for having been so silent in the past few weeks, I have had no time to blog.
I'm back now, ready to rock again.

Ciao and again thanks for the great post.

skoots1mom said...

great mosaic...
i don't have any hormones either and your melancholy statement is so true...i'm with ya...
how blessed you are with these wonderful memories...it makes me sad for those people who don't have such wonderful memories.

Florida Sue said...

Lori I know what you mean exactly. It is bittersweet. Time flies by as you cope with just getting through the worries of having small children, financial concerns, standard illnesses and just the daily motion of getting through. Twenty years from now you will remember these days and realize that it was the time when life really became free. You will pull out the photos and refer to them as that great time of your life when you really became yourself. Just yourself. You may still be Mom, wife and all of the other assorted titles that you have acquired, but you will remember it as a time when you really went all out and did exactly what you wanted to do without the slightest bit of guilt. It's not just a lack of hormones my dear friend. You have hit upon something really big here and you are lucky. For some people it takes a major illness or catastrophe to figure it out that making changes just for yourself is not selfish; it is personal growth and I am working very hard at allowing it for myself. I was the caregiver and the nurturer for so many years that I lost myself along the way. I am having to completely relearn that living my life on my terms is completely okay.

XOSue

Chandy said...

I so agree with this post, Lori. Time is both fickle and firm. I've learned long ago that if I busy myself with things that matter, looking back won't be too punched with holes of regret. That especially coming from me who is built on "what ifs". LOL

Let those album serve as your awards for having lead a full life, a good life and amazing memories of how you got to today... I agree with Sue, your contemplation helped you see your life now and how you can mold with the new changes that lies ahead.

prof en retraite said...

Love that mosaic! And you are so right about time! I look back at pics when I thought I didn't look good...I'd swap bodies in a sec! But...have to relive all I have gone through to get where I am...no way!...Debbie

karlascottage.typepad.com said...

The older we get, the faster it all goes...

Cass @ That Old House said...

Oh my... clocks and time passing. Lori, you are not alone in your feelings of melancholy and "how the heck did I get here?" --- I remember thinking, when my daughters went off to college, that now I had to decide what to do when I grew up! Mothering wasn't going to be a full time occupation anymore.

In 5 years I'm afraid I still haven't found the right niche. I'm working on it, but if I could return to any time of my life, it wouldn't be back when I wore a size 6 and was single and in NY and had a glamorous job -- it would be when my girls were toddlers and pre-schoolers --- lots of work, not much money, but just bliss. When my husband catches me looking through old pictures, he says, "So, torturing yourself again?"

I'm working on trying to find myself again. I do have my hormones (too darned many of them!) and I don't think they are to blame -- I think it is just Life.
One of the reasons we moved last year, was that I wanted a total change of house; our former house just held too many memories, and didn't feel right without the girls there. A fresh start here, in a house I love, was an excellent move.

If it helps, Lori -- believe me, I identified right away with your post, and I am sure that many reading it did, also. I keep a Mary Englebreit print near my desk, of a little girl with a determined face, and the caption "Snap Out Of It!" I try. I try.

Best to you my friend -- Cass

Sharon said...

Oh wow! I love clocks. I had always wanted to fill my dining room wall full of them. Then there was the money issue. ;)

Char said...

beautiful mosaic and excellent write - time can be such a cruel bandit

Becky K. said...

Great post! Great Concept.

Becky K
Hospitality Lane

storyteller's other blog said...

Marvelous Mosaic and worthwhile post to contemplate for sure. Thanks for dropping by my Mellow Yellow Mosaic Floral post at Happily Retired Gal earlier today. It's nice to meet you. Love the title of your blog ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Lori, loved this post, it is pensive but not brooding, contemplative. Well done.

Jen

caren said...

It's amazing when you look at old pictures and think - "Wow, I was so young" or I didn't look so bad after all - wish I looked like that now". Yeah, I know the feeling. It sucks!

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Yes indeed, some changes are harder to make than others.

Really Rainey said...

What a fun mosaic! Thanks for the fun "time~"
Have a great week!
~Really Rainey~

Blondie's Journal said...

Lori,

I so find myself in your situation and I think Sue and Cass are or have been in the same boat. When we are young, we love change, or we just move along with it, not noticing it too much. The something triggers that irony that we have more years behind us then ahead of us... What will we do with these years? Can we be as happy as we were in the past (and I think we tend to see through rose colored glasses when we look behind)?

How we live out the remaining years of our lives is as individual as we are in personality. But it is comforting to know that women our age are all having similar thoughts and doubts.

Chin up. We'll manage.

Wonderful, insightful post~glad I didn't miss it!

xoxo
Jane

Linda's Blue Gate said...

Looking through picture album does the same thing to me..... where does time go...... what I wouldn't give to rock my curly headed beauty to sleep one more time.... sigh...... being 33 she frowns on that kind of behavior....lol
HUgs
Linda

carolr said...

Hi. I too am into geneaology. I joined Ancestry(finally) in January, although I did lots of searching around at free sites for a few yrs. I have 2 trees, some pics and I am fascinated. Made two trips: one to WV, and one to Pitts. for some research. What fun!

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