I have to agree with a lot of them on both sides but seeing as I am not a server I will list mine from the patron's point of view.
- Do not ever, ever clear a dinner plate from the table while others are still eating.
- When I order the wine do not present it to my husband for tasting.
- After pouring the first glass of wine for the table do not come by and refill our glasses for us. Perhaps the designated driver is only having one glass. I don't want to drink out of their glass and I don't want to waste the wine. Also we may have enjoyed the one glass and wish to re-cork or to wait to have the rest with a meal. You know if it is poured in front of people they will be sipping on it and it will be gone before the main meal.
- Do not become my best friend forever. You are at work not at my house for a party. Be polite and attentive but for the most part invisible.
- Quit trying to upsell everything. If I choose an appetizer don't try to add a second one. When I order food don't try to "biggie size" it and I am not referring to fast food places. If I want to add a side of mushrooms to my steak I will ask for them. If I choose a wine don't suggest the next price point up. If I order coffee after dinner don't try to suggest adding a shot of something. I know you are told to do this but it is rude.
- Don't rattle off all the specials. I forget the first 3 by the time you get to the last 3. Ask if we are interested.
Just so you know I am a very generous tipper.
I was a waitress for a very short time when I was 18 in college.
ReplyDeleteI decided that if life should ever look like I was headed for waitress duty again...I would become a prostitute instead.
I also tip very well.
I waitressed in college. Did a great job, but won't be doing that again! I HATE when the server takes away my husband's plate while I'm still eating. What if I was going to put a bite of my food on his plate? Well now I can't. Plus it just makes me lose my appetite. My husband eats super fast - but I take my time.
ReplyDeleteI HATE when the waitstaff won't freaking go away! I I don't want them "hanging" out with us OR worse - the places like Chili's where the staff feels compelled to sit in the booth with you. GO AWAY!
...And my BIGGEST peeve - when the waitstaff comes out in a little group clapping & singing a goofy & LOUD birthday song! Totally disrupting a once nice, quiet & relaxing meal. I really don't care if a total stranger 3 booths over is having a birthday, but I do mind getting pulled into it against my knowledge & will.
I'll stop at that..but I swear I could go on!
I find it unthinkable when a waiter or waitress looks at my husband first to take the order. The man before the lady?? Excuse me. Or if we are in a group, shouldn't the ladies go first? I am very old fashioned that way.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Lori!
xoxo
Jane
I really don't like it when they come up from behind and put their hands on my shoulders. I come plum out of my skin when they do that. Or, I see them rub their nose or cough in their hand on the way to the table... oy. Hugs. Tammy
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the points just one extra though. I hate it when I see customers click their fingers at the waiting staff to get attention. Arrogant and obnoxious twerps!
ReplyDeleteThere are so few really good servers out there that actually deserve a 20% tip, so unless they truly deserve it- they will not get this amount from me. Mr. S is too generous- "Oh Sue, they have families to feed, let's give it to them." NOT!! A tip is not a given- servers need to perform well in order to be rewarded.
ReplyDeleteThis is my comment to both male and female servers:
If you take my unfinished plate without asking, you can expect me to ask for the manager. I don't want my plate back after it's been placed on top of someone else's.
If you want to bring me a re-fill of my drink, don't take my existing glass- bring me a completely new glass.
Be attentive to your customers. While I realize that you have other customers besides me- I still shouldn't have to flag you down, ask another server to send you over, or actually go searching for you.
To female servers:
If I'm with a group of other women, don't give us less than adequate service because we're women and you assume that we'll tip less than men do because of it. I'll tip well if you give me excellent service.
The reason most women tip less is because you give us poorer service to begin with- You end up reaping what you sow, then you complain about it. Unfortunately for you, that amount IS often less than what you would have received if you had given us the same type of service that you would have given a man. Women aren't usually guilted or coerced into giving you a good tip, like some men are. (see above statement about Mr. S ) We are realists and we tend to tip for the type of service you give us. And if you give poor service, you'll get a poor tip. And so the vicious circle goes on..... and on....
Okay, while I know that no servers are actually reading my gripes, at least I got them off my chest!
Uhhh, I don't go to nice enough restaurants to ever worry about these things! I'm high class like that. : )
ReplyDeleteHow about when you specifically ask the waiter for something and you never get it (like a refill on a drink, more bread, etc....or last week I ordered ravioli and the waiter suggested that I add chicken....which I took him up on....and when the ravioli was brought to the table it was minus the chicken.
ReplyDeleteummm.... having been a waitress myself, I always tip generously. So hard being a waiter/waitress...
ReplyDeleteI wanted to read the article before I commented. You pretty much summed it up -- the familiarity and specials are my pet peeve.
ReplyDeleteI was ranting about what some of the wait staff were complaining about - especially the one that said restaurant food is what it is - don't ask for your dressing on the side or veggies not cooked in butter - well guess what I don't care that I "need" to diet I HATE my salads drenched in dressing. period. end. of . discussion!!!
I have been a waitress and when the wait staff is spot on they get a tip and beyond - I know all about tipping the rest of the staff in the upscale restaurants and that is difficult but you have to earn your tip - its not a given and no I would never walk out without tipping they would get the minimum tip and I have a calculator on my phone.
Hi Lori
ReplyDeleteOne thing I love about eating out in Au is that tipping is not the norm, but you tip for really good service if you want to... I love to have that choice.
Happy days
I would probably go along with just about all you commented on except the last one. I like to know what the specials are.
ReplyDeleteMaggie
We all seem to be on the same page here and I think we do know how hard it is to wait tables. A lot of these tips are things that take no extra work on your part in fact less work in some cases.
ReplyDeleteThere is no excuse for rude patrons either. I won't tolerate it in any of my groups but then I don't have friends like that.
I also think these problems stem from management. They should hear about what we don't like.
Hi Lorie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and tasting my soup. As a former restaurant critic, this is one hot topic. There are, of course, both sides and few points of agreement. One thing I will say. In France, there is an unspoken language between server and diner that doesn't exist in North America. We would do well by learning it though I found it to be a hard sell when table manners and dining etiquette are either ignored or unknown.
Thank you for visiting the castle,you are very welcome.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when I ask for more bread,water,finger bowl etc and I am given a sulky look (usually by a female ) and when it is delivered it is plonked on the table without a word.I also hate being given the bill before I ask for it,I might not have finished ordering !!!