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Nov 24, 2009

AM I JUST OLD SCHOOL?

Is it just me or would you feel uncomfortable going into a pub by yourself? 
My BB guy phoned me yesterday and asked if I could bring him his wallet that he forgot. He suggested I meet him at a pub not too far from our house and that we have lunch. 
I like lunch so of course I agreed. Off I went to the pub and pulled into the parking lot. He wasn't there yet so I made a decision to go in and get a table before they got too busy as it was very close to noon. 

But then I hesitated. Did I want to go in to the bar by myself? It is different if you know the person is already inside and you just have to find them but to go in and pick a table and sit down. I felt uncomfortable. 
I am a confident person most of the time. I can walk into a group of strangers and start up a conversation or chair a meeting but for some reason I felt uncomfortable. 

Well I did it anyway. Walked in and chose a table. Then the nasty draft came blowing in from the patio and I had to get up and find another table. My server came by and took my order for a drink. It was too early for a cocktail so I had a virgin Ceasar. The menus were on the tables already. When she came with my drink she asked me if I was ready to order and I said I was waiting for someone. 
I felt like a weirdo and I don't know why. I wished I had brought a book or newspaper to read because after perusing the menu for a minute I had nothing to do but sit there and stare up at the television showing sports. 

I really wasn't waiting all that long but it sure felt like it. I think it is because I am of the age where there were still bars when I was young that didn't even allow women in a bar alone. A time when some bars had separate sections for tables where women were present. 

When our eldest son was quite a bit younger we drove through an old part of a downtown area past an old beer parlor. They still had the signs hanging over the different doorways. There was "Mens Entrance" and "Ladies & Escorts" referring to the men that had to accompany the women into the bar. (note these signs were just an old part of the heritage building and were no longer the rules)


Our son commented that it was weird that they had a separate entrance for women and prostitutes. We had a good laugh over that one but I think it is still ingrained in my brain that women don't go into bars by themselves even in the middle of the day. 
What about you? Would you go into a bar by yourself and have lunch? Have you ever done it?

19 comments:

Lou said...

I'll tend to wait outside as you were tempted to do. If it's a restaurant or bistro I'm happy to wait alone but not a bar.

Blondie's Journal said...

Lori~~

Call me brazen, but there isn't a place I can't walk in alone. I know there are some gals that won't do it and I find nothing wrong with that. A bit of shyness maybe?

Here, anything open to the public must admit anyone, no matter gender or race. However, that does not mean that there aren't private clubs for 'Men Only", which to me is okay too. Just wish women had more private clubs. How fun would that be?

Great subject.

xoxo
Janie

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

I can remember family relatives speaking of some brave [wanton, in their eyes] woman who dared to walk into the bar. "She was drinking in the beer parlor alone". It was really big family hoopla.

Of course I was the last of the generations that still had to wear skirts to school, no matter how cold it was outside. That only lasted until grade 3, and then finally the modern age came to town.

For all of our complaints about society being rather easygoing, at least some things have changed for the better. Woman can now do what ever they wish, and that includes the right to enter any doorway for a pub.

I do hope that you had a great meal after that, pub food is perfect for these rainy days.

Jen

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I travelled the world on business when I worked in I.T. I NEVER got used to sitting in a restaurant or bar on my own. I absolutely hate it! We must be products of that generational thing. I used to order room service for dinner and breakfast and hide away in my room!

Art Garden Diva said...

Interesting topic. I used to eat alone in restaurants when I traveled for business but never liked it. I don't think I ever ate in a bar though. Thank goodness we live in an age where we can do as we wish.

Love the title of your Blog!
Vickie

Ali said...

I'm another who's not backward about being forward. The days of men-only are long gone. Especially in an era of increasing numbers of singles, be they male or female, by choice or circumstance, you shouldn't be shy about patronizing whatever establishment you please.

Ali

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

Many Thanksgiving Blessings to you and your family….Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

MiMi said...

I'm feeling awkward at ANY place that I get there before my company.

Lori E said...

Like I said I have no trouble going into other places by myself. I am very confident. Just a throwback to the stone age when it comes to the bar.
I wonder if men ever feel that way?

Finn's Mom said...

You posted on my blog once that you were having trouble with your comments appearing on top of your blog - how did you fix it? Thanks!

Finn's Mom said...

Thank you thank you! It worked!

Joanne said...

Lori I felt that way a long time ago - but when I found myself single several years ago a lot of my "stuff" went by the way side.

I have sat in a bar alone at Grand Central Station waiting for a train. I have eaten alone at the bar in several restaurants when I travelled alone.

Just today they were talking on the radio about what people do in public to feel less alone -answer - they fake text. Tough for me -- I don't even real text LOL.

xinex said...

I can imagine the discomfort that you felt. When I was pregnant with my first child, I went to a bar (actually to play Bingo) to meet my husband there but he wasn't there yet so I sat by myself waiting. A guy came to me asking me if he could join me. LOL! I guess he couldn't tell yet that I was pregnant. I never wanted to be alone in a bar again...Christine

Jane said...

Would I ever go into a bar by myself?? Yeah, I have done that. It's weird feeling, but I just put on my self-assured game face & walk right on in & make eye contact with the bartender as quickly as possible & say hello. I'll go ahead & order a drink BUT I also make it a point to announce very outloud that I'm waiting on my husband - but that I'll let him choose his own drink when he gets there.
But if the joint looks too crowded, I'll cower in my car looking like I'm fussing around looking for something (stalling!!) until he gets there.

A Stitch In Thyme said...

When I frequented bars, no problem going alone. It just didn't bother me. But now i'm all dryed up and don't go into bars. There is no right or wrong... it's what your comfortable with. One day you may the next you may not. Hugs. Tammy

matron said...

You may well be ' old school ' but you are not alone.I have never been into a pub or even the hotel bar on my own.My husband is not a pub man i.e never goes to the pub with the boys,he enjoys a whisky in the evening at home and i enjoy a glass of wine,at home or with a meal.
One christmas the staff at the hospital ( i was a nurse ) had their party in a pub,all women,getting drunk,loud etc,i was very uncomfortable and would never go with them again.Old fashioned,yes,snobby,may be,i just don't enjoy that kind of pub culture.
Our local Irish pubs are very much male orientated. If i was asked to meet some one even my husband,i would wait out side,in the car .
A very interesting topic for discussion.

@eloh said...

I understand completely. I have, in my younger drinking days, but I was always meeting someone.

I also grew up with what were called taverns, men at the bar and on the other side, women and children in booths. NEVER a lone woman or one at the bar. Men even ate at the bar.

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

I'm strolling in to catch up and especially to wish you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving!
It's such a wonderful time to stop and reflect on all those we cherish and are truly grateful for.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to visit and leave feeling inspired!

Even though our Thanksgiving is very small in number, with hubby and son (we don't count the cat cause she doesn't like turkey). We don't scrimp on the menu...from appetizers to desserts with several carb loaded dishes in between! We will be enjoying tryptophan playoffs too!

Sweet Holiday wishes,
Sara

Tamara Jansen said...

I agree wholeheartedly. Went to Moxie's yesterday for lunch by myself (I was shopping all my competition) and ate in the bar to make it go faster. Got sized up buy all the guys there. felt like a dork :)

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