Make sure you leave a comment so I know you came by to visit.

Oct 17, 2009

A LITTLE SATURDAY SILLINESS


Believe it or not ;
These are Memphis , TN 's
REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller:  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

*******************
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller :  Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller :  I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller :  No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

********************
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller:   I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller:    I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same t hing.
Caller:    Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

********************
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller:    My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller:    No, you idiot! This is her husband!

********************
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller:  Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.  Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller:   I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller:   No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller:   Running from the Police

15 comments:

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Hilarious. Thanks for getting me giggling first thing in the morning. Have a great weekend.

Sue said...

I have had my first chuckle of the day, Lori! Only in America? LOL
~Ethel

Gail said...

I needed that smile you just put on my face. Thanks

Karen said...

WHat a great way to start the day! Thanks for sharing Lori.
Hugz,
Karen

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

People are sure amazing!!!! Hugs, Marty

Cass @ That Old House said...

Oh my goodness.... amazing! Some people should not be walking around without Keepers.
Cass

Brenda @Cozy Little House said...

How funny! Got some laughs from those!
Brenda

@eloh said...

You have to wonder sometimes how some people can walk and breathe at the same time.

Lynn said...

Fuuunnn-NY!!!!
I also enjoyed the fire insurance/Arson story!

Martha said...

Love these . . . and those "bloopers in the bulletins"! You can't make up real things -- great laugh!

Blondie's Journal said...

Love it. I bet they are all true!

xoxo
Jane

MiMi said...

Only in America. Sheesh!
Gotta love the dude that was running from police. What a moron.

NM said...

So nice to "meet" you! Thanks for coming by to visit my blog and for your very kind words. This was a very funny post. Can't wait to read more! Best wishes, NM.

Kathleen said...

LOL! Have a great Sunday!

becomingkate said...

"Is this her first child?" !! Hahahaha!

Labels

911 (1) ABBY STOKES (1) ACCOMPLISHMENTS (1) ADS (10) AFRICA (1) AGASSIZ (1) AGING (7) ALL ABOUT YOU LISTS (add your list too) (1) ALLERGIES (2) ALVIN (1) ALZHEIMERS (1) ANIMALS (6) ANNIVERSARY (8) ANTIOXIDANTS (1) Antique (1) ANTIQUES (4) APOLOGY (1) APPLIANCES (1) APPRECIATION (1) APPS (2) ARCHITECHTURE (1) ARCHIVES (1) ARIZONA (1) ARTISTIC ENDEAVORS (29) ARTISTS (4) ASPARAGUS (1) ATTA GIRL (16) AUCTIONS (1) AUTISM (1) AUTUMN (2) AWARDS (31) BABIES (1) BABY SHOWERS (2) BABYSITTING (1) BACK PORCH ANTIQUES (1) BACON (1) BAD BEHAVIOR (1) BAD IDEAS (4) BAD LUCK (1) BAKERY (1) BARBECUE (3) BARN HOUSE ANTIQUES (1) BARNYARD BASH (1) BASKETBALL (2) Battle of Princeton (1) BB GUY (8) BEARS (6) BEEF (15) BERRIES (1) BIG FEAST BISTRO (1) BILL OLIVER (1) BILLS (2) Bird (1) BIRDS (3) BIRTHDAY (9) Blog (4) BLOG BUDDIES (4) Blog problems. (2) BLOGGERS (4) BLOGGIE AWARDS (3) BLOGGING (6) BLOGS (55) BLUEBERRIES (1) BODIES (2) BONSAI (1) BOOKS (2) BOXING DAY (2) BRAGFEST (1) BREAKFAST (2) BREAST CANCER (1) BRITISH COLUMBIA (9) BUCKET LIST (1) BULLYING (1) BURGERS (1) BUTCHART GARDENS (2) CABBAGE ROLLS (1) CABIN (14) CABIN STORIES (24) CALENDAR (1) CALL CENTRES (1) CANADA (5) CANADA DAY (5) CANCER (5) CANDY (1) CANNING (2) CANUCKS (2) CARNIVAL OF GENEALGOY (2) CARS (5) Cat (1) CATS (6) CATTLE (1) CELEBRATIONS (1) CHANGING TIMES (1) CHARITY (3) CHEESE (2) CHEESECAKE (2) CHERNOBYL (1) CHERRY TREES (1) CHICKEN (9) CHILDHOOD (1) CHILDREN (4) CHLORIDE (1) CHOCOLATE (2) CHRISTMAS (26) CINCO DE MAYO (1) CLARK LITTLE PHOTOGRAPHY (2) CLEANING (1) CLOTHING (2) COALMONT (1) COCKTAILS (1) Coffee (2) COFFEE GROUP (22) COINCIDENCE (1) COLDS (2) COLLECTIONS (48) COMMENTS (10) COMMERCIALS (3) COMMETS (1) COMMUNICATION (1) COMMUTE (1) COMPUTER LESSONS (5) COMPUTERS (28) CONCERTS (2) CONTESTS (12) COOKING (52) COPING WITH CHRISTMAS (1) COPYRIGHT (1) CORNUCOPIA (1) COUGHING (1) COUNTRY (1) Crafts (2) CRANBERRY SAUCE (1) CRIME (1) CROSS STITCH (1) CRUELTY (1) CUPCAKES (2) CURRY (1) DANCING (5) DANGEROUS (2) DARVONDA NURSERIES (1) DARWIN AWARDS (1) DAYLIGHT SAVING (1) DAYLILY (3) DEATHS (3) DECORATING (6) Decorative Painting (1) DEER (1) DENNIS HOPPER (1) DESSERTS (5) DIAPER CAKE (4) DIAPER MOTORCYCLE (1) DINNER (5) DISSATISFIED (1) DOCTORS (2) DOCUMENTARY (1) DOGS (16) Dogue Brasileiro (1) DOING WHAT IS RIGHT (1) DOMAINS (1) DR. OZ (1) DREAMS (1) DRINKS (3) DRIVING (3) DRUNKENESS (1) DUNCAN (2) E COLI (1) EARTHQUAKE (1) EASTER (1) ECOLOGY (1) EMAIL (3) EMPANADAS (1) ENDERBY (1) ENOUGH (1) Eric Burdon (1) ETHICS (1) EXHAUSTED (1) F-BOMB FRIDAY (2) FACEBOOK (4) FAERIES (2) FAIRS (1) FALL (7) Family (7) FAMILY BIBLES (1) Family tree (1) FAMILY. (9) FARMER'S MARKET (3) FARMING (1) FATHER'S DAY (1) FAUJA SINGH (1) FAVORITE (1) FEATURED ARTISTS (1) FERRIES (1) FERTILIZER FRIDAY (1) FIREWORKS (1) FIRST NATIONS (1) FISH (4) FLAGS (1) FLORIST (1) FLOWERS (7) FOLLOWERS (1) FOOD LOVE (1) FOOD POISONING (1) FOOD STORAGE (1) FOOD. (8) FOODIE FRIDAY (34) FOREST FIRES (1) Fourth of July (1) FRIENDS (22) FRIGIDAIRE (1) FRUIT (8) FRUSTRATION (2) FUN (4) FUNDRAISER (7) FUNKY JUNK (1) FURNITURE (1) GADGETS (3) GARAGE SALES (2) GARDEN (7) GARDENS (28) GARLIC (1) GARLIC BREAD (1) GENEALOGY (39) GEORGE CLOONEY (1) George Washington (1) GIFTS. (7) GIFTSTORES (1) GIFTWRAP (2) GIVEAWAYS (17) GLAMOUR (3) GOING WITH THE FLOW (1) GOOGLE (1) GOOGLE READER (1) GREAT GATSBY (1) GREEN MEN (1) GREEN TEA (1) GUACAMOLE (1) GUEST WRITER (4) GUITARS (2) GUNS (1) HACKERS (1) HAIKU (2) HAIR (3) HAIR JEWELRY (1) Halibut (2) HALLELUJAH (1) HALLOWEEN (2) HAM RADIO (1) HANGOVERS (1) HAPPY (2) HAPPY 101 (1) HARRIS' STEAKHOUSE (1) HATERS (1) HEALTH (19) HERBS (1) HIGHWAYS (1) HINTS (2) HISTORY (6) HOCKEY (4) HOLIDAYS (3) HOLLYWOOD (1) HOME AND GARDEN (36) HOME BUYING (1) HOME. (6) HORSES (3) HOT ITALIAN SAUSAGES (1) HOUSEHOLD TIPS (3) http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifOUTDOOR WEDNESDAY (1) HUDSON RIVER SLOOP (1) Hummingbird (2) Humor (25) HUMOR. (76) HUMOUR (88) I SAY HMMMM (1) ICE FISHING (1) INSECTS (2) INSPIRATION (3) INTEREST (1) INTERNET (3) INVENTIONS (2) IPHONES (1) IRONY (1) ISSUES (2) ITALY (2) JAM (2) JANUARY (1) JAPAN (1) JAZMIN (1) JEWELRY (1) JOHNNY DEPP (1) JOKES (1) JOSH JENKINS (2) JOURNEY (1) KARL MALONE (1) KATZIE BAND (1) KEEPING IN TOUCH (1) KIDS (5) KINDNESS (1) KOBO READER (1) KREATIVE BLOGGER (1) LAKE SUPERIOR (1) Langley (1) LASAGNE (1) LAUNDRY (1) LAW (2) LAWYERS (1) LEMIRE (1) LEPP FARM (1) Library and Archives Canada (1) LIFE (82) LIMBERT FARMS (1) LINDA GUMMER (1) LOTTERY (2) LOUIS HEBERT (3) LOVELY BLOG AWARD (1) LUNCH (4) MAGAZINE (3) MAMMOGRAMS (1) MANSIONS (1) MANTLE (1) MARIE ROLLET (1) MARIJUANA (1) MARKET (2) MARKETING (1) MARRIAGE (2) MASSAGE (1) MATH (1) MATTHEW WATT (1) MAXINE (7) ME EITHER (19) MEDICINE (2) MELLOW YELLOW MONDAYS (4) MEMES (180) MEMORIES (5) MEN (5) MENTAL ILLNESS (1) Mesothelioma (1) METABOLISM (1) METAMORPHOSIS MONDAY (15) Metis (1) METIS. VETERANS (1) MEXICO (1) MICE (1) MIGRAINES (1) MILITARY (1) MOANS (1) MOLES (1) MOM (2) MONEY (1) MONIQUE LUM (1) MONSANTO (1) MOOSE (1) MOSAIC MONDAY (23) MOSAICS (2) Mothers (1) MOTHERS LINE (5) MOTIFAKE (1) MOTORCYCLES (1) MOURNING JEWELRY (1) MOVIES (3) MOVING (7) MOZEY-ON-INN (1) MR. ROGERS (1) Music (4) MUSIC. (3) MY GUITAR PAL (1) MYSTERY PERSON (1) NAMES (1) NATURE (8) NESTING (1) New France (1) NEW YEARS (1) NEW YEAS EVE (6) NEWPAPERS (1) NEWS (4) NICK BRANDT (1) NIGHT SKY (1) NOTE TO SELF (4) OCEANS (1) OLD PHOTOS (1) OLYMPICS (3) ORANGES (1) ORGANIZATION (1) OSTEOPOROSIS (1) OUTDOOR WEDNESDAY (32) p (1) PACKAGING (1) PAJAMAS (1) PARADES (1) Parenting (3) PARTY (2) Pets (1) PHOTOGRAPHS (10) PHOTOGRAPHY (9) PILOTS (2) PINK PUMPKINS (1) PINTEREST (1) PIZZA (3) PLAGIARISM (1) PLASTIC SURGERY (1) PLAYING FOR CHANGE (1) POACHING (1) POEM (1) POISON (1) POLICE (2) POLLS (1) POND (1) POPPIES (1) PORK (10) PORTLAND (3) POSTCARDS (1) PPS FILE (21) PRIDE (1) PRIME RIB (1) PRIVACY (1) PROBLEMS (2) PRODUCT REVIEW (1) PRODUCTS (1) PROTEST (1) PULLED PORK (1) PUMPKIN (1) PUMPKINS (5) QUARANTINE (1) Quebec (2) RACCOONS (1) RAIN (1) RANDOM (77) RANT (9) RATS (1) RCMP (2) READING (1) REAL ESTATE (1) RECALL (1) RECIPES (24) RECOMMENDATIONS (2) RELAXING (1) REMEDIES (1) REMEMBRANCE DAY (2) REMINDERS (1) REPEAT POST (7) REPORTING (1) REPOST (3) RESEARCH (1) RESOLUTIONS (1) RESTAURANTS (7) RIBS (1) RICE (1) ROAD TRIP (8) RoadTrip (1) ROCK AND ROLL (2) ROCKAWAY REST HOME (1) ROCKS (1) ROMANIAN (1) ROOSTERS (3) ROSA'S CUCINA (1) ROSES (1) ROYALTY (1) SAD (2) SAFETY (1) SAISON (1) SALAD (4) SALSA (2) SAN FRANCISCO (4) SANTA (61) SAUCES (1) SAUSAGES (1) SAVINGS (1) SCAMS (2) SCHOOL (2) SCIENCE (3) SCRAPBOOKING (3) SEAFOOD (1) SEARS (1) SEASONS (1) SERENDIPITY (3) SHAME (1) Shopping (10) Sidney British Columbia (1) SILLY SUNDAY (2) SINGING (1) SISTERS (5) SIXTIES (1) SKY (1) SKYTRAIN (1) SLEEP (5) SLEEPOVER (1) SMALL TALK SIX (3) SMOKED MEAT (1) SNORING (1) SNOW (3) SNOWMOBILES (2) SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (2) SOCIAL MEDIA (4) SOUPS (4) SPAM (3) SPINAL CORD INJURY (1) SPORTS (3) SPRING (5) SPRINKLERS (1) STAINED GLASS (2) START UP (1) STATS (2) STEALING (1) STORIES OF MY ANCESTORS (2) STORMS (2) STOVE (1) STRESS (1) STUFFING (2) STUPID PEOPLE (2) SUBSCRIPTIONS (2) SUCCESS (1) SUFFRAGIST (1) SUMMER (4) SUMMER SUNDAYS (1) SUNDAY FAVORITES (41) SUNSET (1) SUNSHINE AWARD (1) SUPERIOR SCRIBBLER (1) SUPERSTITIONS (1) SURPRISES (1) SUSHI (1) SWANS (1) Swartz Bay British Columbia (1) TABLESCAPE THURSDAY (9) TAG (2) TAILGATING (1) TANDOORI (1) TARA JEAN POPOWICH (2) TATTOOS (1) TEACHERS (3) TECHNOLOGY (2) TEENS (1) TEETHING (1) TEMPLATES (1) THANKS (1) THANKSGIVING (5) THE CAMINO (1) THE VOICE (1) THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GIGGLE THURSDAY (1) THINKING ABOUT YOU (1) Thomas Cadwalader (1) THREE OR MORE TUESDAY (3) THREE OR MORE TUESDAYS (23) TOLE PAINTING (15) TOMATO SAUCE BASE (1) TOTEMS (2) TRAGEDY (1) TRANSIT (1) TRAVEL (9) TREAT YOURSELF THURSDAY (5) TULIPS (1) TURKEY (2) TV (1) TWITTER (1) USA (2) VACATION (4) VALENTINE'S DAY (2) VANCOUVER (3) Vancouver Island (8) VEGETABLES (11) VIDEO (3) VINTAGE (7) VIRUSES (4) w (1) WALL WEDNESDAYS (2) WAR (1) WATERCOLOR (1) WATERY WEDNESDAY (4) WEATHER (6) WEDDINGS (3) WEDNESDAY WORDS (3) WEEDS (1) WEEKENDS (1) WELLNESS (1) Whale watching (1) WHALES (1) Wii ADD ONS (1) WILDLIFE (3) WINE (15) WINNER (1) WINTER (4) WISDOM (1) WOMEN (7) WOOLWORTH (1) WORK (13) WORLD (1) WORLD TRADE CENTER (1) WREATH (1) WRITER'S CHALLENGE (19) YANN ARTHUS-BERTRAND PHOTOGRAPHY (1)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...