MY LUCK-SHE'S A GONNA CHANGE

 I am re-posting this today in hope of having the luck of the Irish rub off on me. I have left the comments from the first time I published it attached as they were pretty funny.

I am in a lotto pool with my coffee group. We buy an yearly subscription and we win squat. Okay not squat but next to squat. Squat divided by 10 is diddly squat. Woohoo. I don't know what to spend my diddly squat on. I could buy some gum or  maybe a burger.

You can't invest diddly squat because it isn't enough. Won't even pay the broker's fees. I could save it for a rainy day but it isn't enough to buy an umbrella

Obviously I am going to have to do something about our lack of winning prowess. We are going to have to change our numbers and I know just how to do it.

We are going to South Africa and we are going to catch us a vulture. Then we are going to kill it and take out it's brain and smoke it. No, no, stay with me here. This will work I tell you it will. The healers say so.

First you dry it and then you mix it with mud and smoke it like a cigarette or inhale the vapors. Then you get the visions. Visions of the future. We will get the vision like the vultures have that allows them to swoop out of the sky and down on a carcass. You will see things. Things that you need to see like horse races, exams or business outcomes. AND LOTTO NUMBERS.

Now I know you will say this is bad and that the vultures are becoming extinct but when I win my mega millions I will open a refuge to rebuild the vulture population. I promise.

If this doesn't work I have a line on a field filled with multi leaf clovers in Lingdale, Teesside, Ireland.

Photo from Telegraph.co.uk Photo:NNP