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Mar 17, 2011

MY LUCK-SHE'S A GONNA CHANGE

 I am re-posting this today in hope of having the luck of the Irish rub off on me. I have left the comments from the first time I published it attached as they were pretty funny.


I am in a lotto pool with my coffee group. We buy an yearly subscription and we win squat. Okay not squat but next to squat. Squat divided by 10 is diddly squat. Woohoo. I don't know what to spend my diddly squat on. I could buy some gum or  maybe a burger.
You can't invest diddly squat because it isn't enough. Won't even pay the broker's fees. I could save it for a rainy day but it isn't enough to buy an umbrella
Obviously I am going to have to do something about our lack of winning prowess. We are going to have to change our numbers and I know just how to do it.
We are going to South Africa and we are going to catch us a vulture. Then we are going to kill it and take out it's brain and smoke it. No, no, stay with me here. This will work I tell you it will. The healers say so.
First you dry it and then you mix it with mud and smoke it like a cigarette or inhale the vapors. Then you get the visions. Visions of the future. We will get the vision like the vultures have that allows them to swoop out of the sky and down on a carcass. You will see things. Things that you need to see like horse races, exams or business outcomes. AND LOTTO NUMBERS.
Now I know you will say this is bad and that the vultures are becoming extinct but when I win my mega millions I will open a refuge to rebuild the vulture population. I promise.

If this doesn't work I have a line on a field filled with multi leaf clovers in Lingdale, Teesside, Ireland.
Photo from Telegraph.co.uk Photo:NNP

16 comments:

Joanne said...

Oh I love reading your posts Lori, as you really make me laugh.. If you win that lottery after all that send me the full recipe will you LOL
Anyway, if you check back on my blog I have done a few dialogue translations to help you out x BTW thanks for the lovely comments about my new background x

mbkatc230 said...

Let me know how smoked buzzard brains work out for you lol! This is hysterical. And I had no idea that they were endangered, you sure wouldn't know if you lived around here. I love your new blog look, it's so neat and organized. I've been considering changing mine up too, but I'm a big chicken. I'm scared to death that I'm going to lose it all in cyberspace. Maybe if I ever have a day totally to myself where I can really concentrate. Oh, who am I kidding!!! Have a wonderful New Year Lori! Kathy

Sheri said...

Lori,
Noooooo I heard it is a rabbit's left hind foot and the contents of whatever a kangaroo carries around in it's pouch. You mix those two and THEN you roll yourself a splief and let the good times roll. Or see a vision. Or whatever.

Happy New Year.

Lynn said...

"Squat divided by 10 equals Diddley Squat" You are so funny!
I'll check that field in Ireland out for you next May!

Lou said...

Lol Lori, sounds groovy man, save some for me.

Maven said...

The vulture thing doesn't work. My lotto group tried it last year and all we were left with was the vague recollection of dancing to I Will Survive in the middle of the dessert. It gets hazy from there.

Joanne said...

LOL you lost me at flying off to South America -- don't forget the little people (me of west of you fame) when you strike it rich!!!

MiMi said...

No, No, stay with me here! LOL!

Gail said...

Just your luck, the vulture would be mental. It is a four-leaf clover that is lucky.

Great post, thanks for the smile.

I like this look.

Stine in Ontario said...

Hope yourluck changes in 2010!

Housewife Savant said...

You crack me up.

Smoked vulture brain is a Polish delicacy.

Good LUCK with that.

Shirley said...

Hey, anythings worth a try!!!! : )) You are so funny. Love reading your posts!

Sandy said...

Lori,
What is happening here????? Not quite right yet and it is messin' with me! Orginazation has to be in my new year....Lori, you don't live in my house! LOL IT IS A MESS! And my creativity is getting blocked! LOL LOL LOL

Michele said...

Oh wow... found your blog in my travels today, and so glad I did. What a great post. Hysterical, I love it.

Keep up the great work, I look forward to reading more!
Happy New Year,
have fun smokin' those buzzard brains. Keep us posted LMAO

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Hi Lori. Very funny! We've been driving the same route almost daily lately and passing multiple billboards for the Oregon Lottery -- I just noticed a line in fine print at the bottom that says: "Lottery Games Should Not Be Played for Investment Purposes." Well d*&n! And here I planned to base my future on buying a scratch-off. Thought I should let you and your pool know that, just in case you were planning that too!! ;>)

Michelle Goodrum said...

I have chosen you for the One Lovely Blog Award. Please stop by The Turning of Generations at http://www.turning-of-generations.blogspot.com/ to pick up your award.

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